


There's Another Day Dawning

by Idol_pastimes



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idol_pastimes/pseuds/Idol_pastimes
Summary: He'd known he would ruin him.  He'd told him so.  Falling in love with Ben MItchell always ends badly.  And history always repeats.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Paul Coker/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 3
Kudos: 50





	There's Another Day Dawning

**Author's Note:**

> A little piece started a month ago when the first inkling of a kidnap plot popped up in the media... although I've subsequently developed growing fears over the health and wellbeing of this gorgeous couple, and am not at all certain that this creation will be reflected in canon, it seemed silly to leave it to rot in my WIP folder. So here goes. Enjoy, maybe?

The smooth metal spun silently, revealing a sliver of pink scar tissue with every rotation. He’d been watching it for minutes, hours, maybe and still couldn’t drag his eyes away, waiting, waiting for that raw skin to stop peeking out after every slow drag of silver over skin.

Ben knew that he’d caused it. Knew that it’d been his rash decision to start it all. Knew that it his equally spur-of-the-moment about-face that had led him here. Here, where the pain was raw and so close to breaking him. Again. 

It had been easy to burn away the ink wrapped around his finger. What was a brief sting and some plasters to him when he hadn’t felt anything but passing irritation for months? When he couldn’t fathom caring about anything enough to burn from the ache of it, not after having been seared once before. 

But God, it was burning now. He kept spinning the band, making sure of it; making sure that the skin rubbed raw, tugging back the face and fear that he’d tried to laser away.

The slam of the door against the plaster of the dimly lit corridor made him shut his eyes for a flinching moment; Ben made sure to stop the spin until they opened again and he could train his gaze on the motion once more. 

Ratty, once-white trainers moved in front of him, shifting from side to side in a clear sign of aggravation. 

‘I told him you’d ruin him. I said that.’ The trainers moved once more, out of his field of vision as the feet started to pace to the far side of the corridor and back; a whole three paces. They returned again and stopped, hovering in front of him with dangerous intent. The heavy breathing was not the only sign that Stuart was ready to blow. Ben knew the signals only too well. ‘But do you know what he told me?’ A flat palm smacked the wall by Ben’s head and the proximity of the body in front of him forced him to push into the plaster behind him as he looked up, up to meet the livid face of Callum’s big brother. ‘Well? Do ya?’

Ben shook his head. He couldn’t even find it in himself to put on an act; no sarcasm or push-back left inside of him. He spun the ring once more, the flare of pain distracting momentarily from the rage printed across Stuart’s expression.

‘No. I dunno what he said, Stuart. You tell me.’

Stuart clapped his hand against the wall once more, almost as if the slap of sound placated his burning need to hurt, to punish, to avenge his little brother. He moved his face forward, pushing into Ben’s space with measured aggression. Ben remembered this, remembered the control and assuredness that slipped over Stuart when he was at his most protective. _Or his most psychotic._ This man would hurt him given the chance, Ben had no doubt. Had done before to ‘save’ his brother. Only this time, when Ben refused to fight back, it would be because he knew more certainly than he’d ever known anything that he deserved it.

‘He said that no one could ever be forgiven, no one could ever prove themselves to be decent, no one could be loved if people weren’t willing to give them a chance.’ Stuart loomed closer and although Ben didn’t move, would never give him the satisfaction, he knew that his eyes dipped for a moment, unable to bear the stark fury in the bigger man’s eyes when he agreed with him so fully. The hissed words continued to rain down over his upturned face, now accompanied by a thick forefinger jamming itself into his chest. Just by the tender spot where a bullet had punctured his chest wall just months ago. The ache rose up once more, blanketing him with a flurry of bleary memories and the sensation of rising panic, of being unable to catch his breath. ‘He gave you that chance, Mitchell. He gives you that chance every day, so you get in that room and you thank him with every part of yourself. You own what you’ve done and you pay back every single second that he wasted crying over you this past year. And you never forget that it was you that put him in that bed.’ Another sliding step forward and a last snarl. ‘I know I won’t.’

Ben watched through clouded eyes as Stuart turned away, smacking the fawn coloured wall one last time before kicking out at one of the chairs pushed back against the corridor wall. He saw Jay reach out a calming hand but didn’t hear the words that caused Stuart to flash a glare of hatred his way, only just caught the staccato ‘no – it’s – not – _enough_.’ Jay nodded and Stuart continued on, rounding the corner and disappearing from sight. He wouldn’t have gone far, Ben knew; he was too invested in his brother’s wellbeing to leave Callum alone for too long. Always sticking his nose in, coming back to the flat at inconvenient times, crashing about with his messed-up girlfriend and giving him the evils whenever Callum’s back was turned-

His chest caught once more and he slid down into one of the empty metal seats. God, _Callum_. His fingers returned to the silver ring on his left hand and began to spin, spin, spin once more. It was happening again, all over again, and just like last time, it was all on him. History repeating always meant someone hadn’t learned their lesson, and God only knew that Ben had always had trouble recognising his own mistakes until it was far too late. How many times had he hurt someone now? Hev, Jordan, Martin, and now-

A chilled hand folded over his and gripped lightly, pausing the rhythmic movement. 

He’d known Jay was there. Of course he had; where else would his brother be when he needed him? But Ben had completely tuned him out since arriving at the hospital, and he could see the worry in those piercing eyes as he raised his head once more.

‘Stop doing that. You’ll hurt yourself.’

Ben glanced down at his ring finger and could see the red marks striping his skin.

‘Good.’

Jay’s face tightened as Ben knew it would, and the eyes he knew so well rolled up to the ceiling before a sardonic eyebrow raised in his direction. He braced himself for some cutting words, but was surprised when Jay simply pulled the hand into his own lap and held on with both of his own.

‘Stu’s not wrong, Ben. You know it, and so do I. Most of the time I think Callum must have a screw loose dumping Whitney to shack up with a small-time car salesman cum mini-mafioso. But he loves ya. And you know he loves every bit of who you are. So stop punishing yourself and go in and see him. Sit with him. Make sure that he knows you’re there and stop rehashing everything that you’ve done but can’t change. He wanted ya. You as you are. So make sure he has ya.’

His eyes slammed shut and he knew, he _knew_ that he was going to mess up again, just like he had so many times before, and look where it got them, look where it always ended up when he fell in love with someone and he got too close and too wrapped up in other people’s lives, he ruined them, he _ruined them_ -

‘Whoa, whoa, Ben, slow down, _slow down_. Just stop, okay?’ Jay’s slender fingers were cupping the side of his neck and _God, what he’d give for that to be Callum’s steady palm resting just there_. ‘It’s over. It’s done. Keanu’s locked up and will stay that way for a good long while if I’ve got anything to say about it; it’s only you and Callum that you’ve got to think about now. Take this one step at a time, alright? Just one step. Can you do that?’

Ben opened his eyes once more and met his brother’s gentle look with a tiny nod of gratitude. He dragged a sleeve across his nose and huffed out a wet-sounding ‘yeah’ as Jay pulled him in for a hug, wrapping his arms around Ben’s tense shoulders and holding the back of his head so that he couldn’t escape for a solid thirty seconds. 

When they sat back, Jay pulled his hands away and dug his phone out. ‘I’ve got to give Lo a ring just to let her know what’s going on, when we’ll be back and all that. You know she’ll hit the roof when she finds out someone’s gone after Cal. And your mum’ll be hunting Keanu down herself; the woman likes your boyfriend way more than she likes you, you know.’

Ben felt a brief smile tug at his cheeks; the drying tears had made them stiff and he passed his sleeve over them again, knowing that he couldn’t go in to see Callum looking like he’d been weeping for two hours. 

‘Yeah, some damage limitation’d be good. Better late than never, right?’

Jay nodded and stood, pausing briefly. ‘You’ll be alright here? You ain’t gonna do a runner, are ya?’

Ben stood slowly and twisted the silver ring back to its usual position, hiding the pink scar it masked once more.

‘Nah. Like I told my dad. I can’t run anymore. I’m tired of it. I just-’ He sniffed and shook his head. ‘I want it to be easy, you know? Just me and Cal, you and Lo, Lex and my mum; I just want that. Just that.’

Jay’s lips clamped together and tried desperately to hide what Ben was sure would have been a smile if the circumstances had been different. ‘I’m glad, Ben. I really am. Now go and see your boyfriend, would ya?’

He nodded and took a step backwards, towards the darkened room he’d been avoiding since Callum had been wheeled in over an hour ago. 

‘If you see Stuart, could you…’

Jay rolled his eyes just like Ben had known he would and shook his head, already knowing what was coming. ‘Yeah, yeah, just go, would ya? As if I didn’t have enough to deal with, talking down hurricane-Lola and your mother, now I’ll go placate the raging sociopath before he decides to crack your skull open in accident and emergency; oh, what a fabulous evening you’ve planned out for me, bruv. Cheers for this, by the way. I’m really enjoying myself. We should spend more time together.’

The smile was real this time and Ben couldn’t hide it as Jay turned and pushed through the double doors and away.

Alone once more, but only for a moment. Ben eyed the door to Callum’s room and moved his ring back to its usual position. He raised it to his lips and pressed a small kiss to the metal there, raising his gaze to the ceiling for just a moment. Taking strength from the one place that had always been a failsafe.

He clenched his fist, feeling the solidity of the metal and the heat caught beneath it. Then, he pushed open the door, and walked through. 


End file.
